Don't tell me you played Mario 2 back in the day and you pulled up turnips and Princess could float on her dress NO!!!!!!!!!!! That's Doki Doki Panic
Don't tell me you played lost levels either, that's like the Mario equivalent of Star Wars Special Editions: More fancy effects, no soul no balls.
I'm talking about The Mario 2 that you see in the screen caps above. The REAL Mario 2 that wasn't release in the US until last year because the designers at Nintendo HQ realized that it was too hard for our puny american minds. I can describe the first play through of Mario 2 as follows:
Title Screen: Hmmm looks normal. In fact I should be able to jump right into this new-old Mario game like a warm pair of well traveled slippers.
1st level: It's so similar I'm sure i'll quickly find a bar of bricks with my first power mushroom in it. Hey there it is (see 2nd picture) I'll just grab that and get....WHAT? THAT F'ING MUSHROOM WAS POISONOUS!!!
2nd level: What happened to the flow where i could run fast and time kills and jumps like I was some kind of goddamn ninja!?! In this game the built in level/enemy cycle timing is just some sort of sick demented mouse-trap springing shut on my tiny Italian neck!
later level: A WARP! It's about time that I get a little brea.......I"M BACK IN LEVEL 1???? WTF!!!!
later level: (3rd photo) okay it looks like this pipe took me somewhere new. Maybe under this brick arch there is some sort of hidden power up, invisible block...nope...nope..okay f it. I'll just go back since this was obviously a waste of my.....the pipe doesn't work.....I CAN'T EXIT THIS HELLHOLE? IT'S A TRAP!!! (4th photo).
That's right Mario 2 is a goddamn equivalent of the SAW movies but in circa NES videogame form (5th photo). Videogame torture porn more than a decade ahead of the torture-centric horror wave that gripped the first 10 years of the 21st century movie industry.
INSTANT CLASSIC
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