Microsoft E3: Milo Demo = AMAZING

Natal is Microsoft's new camera/motion tracking device and Peter Molyneux king of the overpromising game concept is at it again with a demo supposedly called "Milo" of a 'game?' where you interact in all sorts of different ways with synthetic character and his world via the motion camera. AWESOME!!! (pics cribbed from Kotaku and/or Joystiq)

LEFT FOR DEAD 2: A Director AI that is worth a Damn?

Looks like Valve was listening to our complaints and is pumping (read: too soon) out a sequel that will be visually identically but functionally improved version of Left 4 Dead. What am I most excited about? Branching paths! This will be a new feature of the '2.0' AI director. This is one of the things I suggested in my former post on the game and I think if they really push it hard (read: very different paths) it will add a lot to the game.

Also there will be melee weapons...which are fun in Zombie games :)

Project Trico

There is a trailer online in advance of E3 09 of the next Ico project (aka Trico) and it can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xF3fED8EXl4&feature=related



Critique: Ironically I actually got to the point in my geekdom that I tried to imagine a game that would keep with the basic design philosophies of ICO and Shadows while offering something new and I came up with an idea that is in many ways very similar to this so I feel like I'm already in the 'head space' to think about this trailer.

1st impression: Sad that the creature is so adorable but it is brilliantly animated. I can already see Fumito Ueda saying: "I wanted to place my emphasis on the relationship with the (insert name here....we'll go with cat-rat-bird (CRB))and I felt that the best way to do that was to make the (CRB) likable and feel like a living breathing creature." Well done so far!

2nd impression: If this trailer as as much to do with the finished game as Nico had to do with Shadows of the Colossus then this isn't going to be too much like the finished game with the exception that the player will be human and there will be a (CRB).

3rd impression: I'm pretty excited but if this had been a bit more serious and maybe the kid had been a bit older and less precocious I would be over the moon ecstatic. Other than that? I'm buying it.

LOST CLASSICS: OUT OF THIS WORLD (US) ANOTHER WORLD (UK)

Brilliant f'ing game. Get zapped into another dimension that is like arizona but purple-grey and inhabited by hairless ape-men that make loyal companions when you help break them out of jail. Watch for the poisonous leeches, deadly panther-lions, Laser pistol reload times and F'ING UNBELIEVABLE GAME DESIGN!!! This was like Half Life 2 but like 10 years too early. EPIC WIN!!!

Oh what's that you never played it back in the day on the PC or SNES? Well download the pretty new PC version and get cracking!!!

Lost Classics: Super Mario Bros 2....the Japanese one

Don't tell me you played Mario 2 back in the day and you pulled up turnips and Princess could float on her dress NO!!!!!!!!!!! That's Doki Doki Panic

Don't tell me you played lost levels either, that's like the Mario equivalent of Star Wars Special Editions: More fancy effects, no soul no balls.

I'm talking about The Mario 2 that you see in the screen caps above. The REAL Mario 2 that wasn't release in the US until last year because the designers at Nintendo HQ realized that it was too hard for our puny american minds. I can describe the first play through of Mario 2 as follows:

Title Screen: Hmmm looks normal. In fact I should be able to jump right into this new-old Mario game like a warm pair of well traveled slippers.

1st level: It's so similar I'm sure i'll quickly find a bar of bricks with my first power mushroom in it. Hey there it is (see 2nd picture) I'll just grab that and get....WHAT? THAT F'ING MUSHROOM WAS POISONOUS!!!

2nd level: What happened to the flow where i could run fast and time kills and jumps like I was some kind of goddamn ninja!?! In this game the built in level/enemy cycle timing is just some sort of sick demented mouse-trap springing shut on my tiny Italian neck!

later level: A WARP! It's about time that I get a little brea.......I"M BACK IN LEVEL 1???? WTF!!!!

later level: (3rd photo) okay it looks like this pipe took me somewhere new. Maybe under this brick arch there is some sort of hidden power up, invisible block...nope...nope..okay f it. I'll just go back since this was obviously a waste of my.....the pipe doesn't work.....I CAN'T EXIT THIS HELLHOLE? IT'S A TRAP!!! (4th photo).

That's right Mario 2 is a goddamn equivalent of the SAW movies but in circa NES videogame form (5th photo). Videogame torture porn more than a decade ahead of the torture-centric horror wave that gripped the first 10 years of the 21st century movie industry.

INSTANT CLASSIC

Lost Classics: Super Metroid

Okay it's not lost at all, quite the opposite in fact. Super Metroid is f'ing found now that it's on the virtual console. What about for those sinners our there like myself that never even played the damn game when it was in it's hayday?

THEN IT WAS LOST AND DAMN IF IT'S NOT A CLASSIC!

The Short-short: Brilliant SNES era 16-bit graphics. Impeccable timing of animation of character and weapon fire sprites. An innovative indigenious creature health recharging concept, perfectly timed weapon and suit upgrades kept the sense of abilities and areas to explore from becoming stagnant. Gigantor bosses that cause you to stare in awe when you have to climb 2 screens height just to stare them in the eye. This is the Empire Strikes Back of nintendo games (US Mario 2 was the Attack of the Clones of videogames). Roaming the hallways and tunnels of the game world leave you feeling like you can sense the dust motes and bizarre smells that must be swirling around your character at all times. Don't believe? Enjoy being terminally wrong. Decided that you're going to pony up the monies and buy and ACTUALLY PLAY the thing on virtual console if you missed the experience the first time around? Enjoy being RIGHT!

note: all spelling/grammer errors are intentional and will be preserved to maintain a certain flavor and spontenaity....ety...aty..

Lost classics: Peasant's Quest

Nestled inconspiculously beside the more simple 'bonus' fare on the Homestarruner.com games page you will find a true diamond in the rough: Peasant's Quest: http://www.homestarrunner.com/disk4of12.html

No doubt you won't be looking here in the first place if you aren't already versed in the goings on of Homestarrunner and his friends. I won't retread those fertile grounds here other than to offer a super brief synopsis of Peasant's Quest mythos.

> There is a whole side story on Homestarrunner about "Trogdor" the burninator an S shaped dragon with a penchant for lighting stinking peasants on fire. In Peasant's quest you take control of an atari or amiga-era RPG hero who vows to avenge the destruction of his quaint pixel-cottage and slay thy dragon named here.

Okay, so I know you're thinking why should I care? Well the answer is for these 3 reasons:

1) If you like videogames, fantasy and/or RPGs, humor, deft parody and you were born between 1970 and 1985 you will be subject to the most clever and satisfying humor-game every concieved
2) You have come to realize that I am right on all other matters discussed here. Plain and simple.
3)see #2)

The short short review: Peasant's Quest is clever, cute, astute, full of heart, charm and lovely 'graphics'. It's the perfect length for a serious diversion, it has a perfectly implemented save-in-browser functionality and if you love Homestarrunner and Trogdor then it perhaps the finest internet game of all time.